The Best Of The Worst Lyrics Of This Year So Far

Let’s face it, in the charts these days you’re hard pressed when it comes to finding something both mainstream, and meaningful. Browsing across this week’s top 20, an alien creature would be able to deduct 3 earthshattering facts about the human race…

1) We enjoy clubbing

2) We enjoy having relations with one another

3) We enjoy clubbing

One dimensional doesn’t quite cover it (cue predictable dig at the prime example that is One Direction), in short the most successful labels and artist lyrical content doesn't seem to be anywhere near as deep as their ever expanding pockets. Therefore I thought I would create a compilation of the best of the worst lyrics produced this year in music so far, lyrics that are so bad they deserve recognition. Starting with number 5…..

Frequent offender Flo- Rida here at number 5 making his first and no doubt not last appearance on my collection of soul-less lyrics.. the particular lyrics in question here are the deafeningly deep chorus, “hey, I heard you were a wild one, ooooooh” and Flo-Rida’s own pro-found take on being intoxicated, “Got a hangover like too much vodka, can’t see me with ten binoculars”. There’s really no excuse when you can’t make a genuine rhyme out of it.

Correct me if I'm wrong to say, for example U2's, "You broke the bonds and you, Loosed the chains, Carried the cross, Of my shame" to the unrelenting repetition of "you a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe, stupid stupid, you a stupid hoe" in comparison doesn't quite match up to a heartbreaking degree. Nicki Minaj's classic at 4.

 

One direction comes in at a respectable third with their summer anthem that made thousands hearts of teenage girls a’ flutter this year with, “What makes you beautiful”. It’s a shame that with this vast opportunity to influence these ever-absorbing teenage minds, the only profound words record producers could muster up included, “the way that you flip your hair makes me overwhelmed” and “so c-come on, you got it wrong, to prove I’m right I put it in a so-o-ong”. Waste.

 

In at 2 is the most philosophical “Sexy and I know it” in which the ever so intelligently named “LMFAO” unashamedly executes an infectious song of self-appraisal. The lyrics in the firing line here include the legally questionable, “I got a passion in my pants, and I ain’t afraid to show it” and a beautiful insight on his holiday routine, “And when I’m at the beach, I’m in a speedo tryna tan my cheek, What?” Remind me to avoid this holiday destination at all costs.

 

And finally I’ve had to make a timeframe exception for this lyrical master piece as no compilation of bad lyrics can be complete without the hilarity that is Desree’s classic, “Oh life”. Purely for the comedy factor, it’s got to be the best of the worst. "I don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that I fear most, I'd rather have a piece of toast, Watch the evening news” The rich intensity of the lyrics are somewhat… underwhelming. This song encapsulates the classic notion “something so bad it’s good” which completes my top 5.